Have you seen the movie The Secret?
It talks about the Law of Attraction: If you think positive thoughts, you attract all your heart’s desires.
Want lots of money?
Just visualize money raining on you. Imagine your fingers wrapped around the leather steering wheel of a red Ferrari.
Pretend the sun’s warming your skin, as you lounge lazily at a beach in Ibiza.
If you’re like me, you visualized like crazy, repeated positive affirmations and made vision boards… but to no avail.
You manage to get by. Or, you have enough money, but more wouldn’t hurt.
Yet no matter what you do, your financial situation stays the same (maybe for years). Argh!
Why is it so hard to get more money?
On my long path out of the scarcity mentality, I learned that The Secret left out 3 major obstacles to manifesting money. Positive thinking won’t help much, if you don’t overcome these first.
1) Family Templates
I’m the black sheep of my family.
My dad wanted me to get a good job after college. I traveled in Europe instead.
My parents preferred that I marry a Vietnamese man. I married a Frenchman.
Naturally, I adopted a different mentality about money. I couldn’t stand the traditional breadwinner status of men in my family. The men always had the final word.
So I vowed to avoid becoming a submissive woman.
And I honored my vow… My husband Loïc and I split the chores, take collective decisions and manage our finances together. I made more money than him for years.
But we never seemed to have enough money. It wasn’t until I began probing my financial blocks that I realized I had unconsciously integrated my family’s views on money.
It was right in front of me and yet I couldn’t see it: a part of me, perhaps my inner child, believed it was wrong to be the breadwinner. What happened to my feminist ideals?!
Not to mention, this unconscious part of me felt guilty for having an easier life than my family did. No wonder money escaped from my fingers as quickly as it came.
There’s much more going on than we think.
We’re social animals. Us humans have survived, thanks to our ability to maintain a social network. We stay loyal to each other by sharing similar interests, habits or beliefs.
Generational trauma can haunt us too. That means we may be carrying our ancestors’ pain, which can have debilitating effects.
So much for being a proud rebel!
Once I realized these truths, I rolled up my sleeves to do healing work. I’m still peeling back the layers, but already have more money in the bank.
The unconscious mind always surprises me—in a good way though.
2) Able, willing and worthy
My EFT trainer told me something that made me nearly fall off my chair.
My ego hated hearing it. But my financial situation greatly suffered, so I pried my ears open:
We may unintentionally hold onto a lack mentality because we don’t believe we can heal.
On the surface level, we might think it’s possible to overcome this obstacle. But deep down, we strongly believe, I can’t heal (hence, the “able” part above).
The same applies to “willing” and “worthy”.
Though it seems bizarre (why would anyone not want to heal?), we might unconsciously want our current situation. The same old, same old comforts us because we know exactly what to expect.
Staying in a familiar situation, even if it’s not ideal, makes us feel safe. Our human nature can indeed get to the best of us.
We can also feel unworthy of healing, for whatever reason.
My ancestors broke their backs to give me a better life. But I couldn’t help wondering, Why me? Why should I be the one to enjoy an easier life when they had it so hard?
That mentality pushed me to overwork in a subconscious attempt to honor my ancestors.
Now I realize that I don’t have to work so hard to show my gratitude towards them. I can rest easy, embracing a slower life… and rejoice when unexpected money shows up!
Which part of “able, willing and worthy” speaks to you the most?
Acknowledge thoughts, emotions, sensations or memories that swirl around.
Extend compassion to yourself—we’re human.
3) Chronic retraumatization
We know that limiting beliefs quell the flow of money, like Money is the root of all evil, Money can’t buy happiness and It’s unspiritual to have lots of money.
But we tend to overlook chronic retraumatization.
If you struggle with making enough money, worry about bills or fear a surprise expense, you’re most likely getting triggered throughout the day, everyday.
For example, the electricity bill arrives in the mail. As soon as you see the envelope, your stomach ties itself in knots. Or you want to join your friend on a lunch date, but you suddenly remember your negative account.
You might not struggle with these things at all. Maybe you have enough money and pay everything on time. But a subtle level of anxiety about money stays in the back of your mind.
That’s chronic retraumatization—which in the long term can heavily impact your financial situation.
Positive thinking advocates insist that we avoid our frustration and focus solely on what we want. They assert that our negative mindset attracts more situations of lack.
Unfortunately, positive affirmations only scratch the surface of our conscious mind. Our unconscious mind dictates much of what we think and do, so it’d be foolish to ignore its contents.
The crux of the spiritual journey lies in making the unconscious conscious. This inner work isn’t for the faint of heart.
In my experience, embracing the darkest corners of my being and healing from the past gives way to more love, more peace… and yes, more money.
Get quiet and listen to manifest money
I thought I was pretty self-aware.
The lack mentality had bared its secrets to me… I understood its origins and observed its manifestations in my daily life.
But I wouldn’t have imagined that my old self still harbored certain unhelpful feelings about money. And those feelings dwelled within for so long, they became the norm.
After my initial shock (and beating myself up) about these money blocks, I sat back in awe of our unconscious mind.
It has its own marvelous logic, designed to protect us and assure our well-being.
When we lay down arms and listen wholeheartedly to our deepest fears, we unravel everything that’s blocking us from abundance—
And ultimately, Love.
Want some free support?
I’m offering free EFT Tapping sessions in exchange for a short interview via Zoom.
I enjoy connecting with other women and learning about their challenges related to confidence, boundaries and relationships.
In the first 15 minutes, I’ll ask questions like “How did you discover me?” for new content ideas. In the last 15 minutes, you’ll get an EFT session to feel calm and clear. (Yes, things can shift that quickly.)
This offer isn’t a discovery call, where we discuss my paid services. It’s a fun opportunity to connect and support each other!
If you feel inspired to work with me, we can book a free call to make sure we’re a good fit.
I look forward to connecting with you!
Further reading to help you manifest money: