Being in a relationship with an angry partner can feel overwhelming, to say the least.

When we feel triggered by our partner’s anger, our body’s fight-or-flight mode gets activated, reducing our capacity for rational thinking and empathy.

Tapping on certain acupuncture points, while focusing on the cause of stress, calms the mind, reduces anxiety and relieves pain.

You can follow along to this EFT Tapping guided session and script below to ground yourself anytime as you deal with your partner’s anger.

This session is also available on the meditation app, Insight Timer.

And if you’re new to EFT Tapping, check out this blog article/podcast episode to learn more. 

Before we start tapping though, I’d like to quickly touch on my personal experience with my partner’s anger. I’ve talked about it before, but it’s a topic that deserves to be revisited.

My husband Loïc’s angry outbursts terrified me for a long time.

They immediately flung me into the past, where my inner child still cowered in a corner, hoping to be invisible from her dad’s wrath.

In the throes of codependency, my entire body begged for a moment of peace. I didn’t know it at the time, but my nervous system seriously needed to rest and repair.

Then one day during yet another argument, Loïc blurted out, When you feel overwhelmed by emotions, you cry. I don’t cry. Anger is my way of crying.

I don’t condone abusive behavior and I had never seen his anger in this way before. Men learn that “boys don’t cry” and anger is the acceptable mask for vulnerability. What if deep down the monster I believed my husband to be wasn’t there, but a hurting child?

And what if our whole codependent relationship was a cry for help from our inner children?

This was a crucial turning point in our healing journey that lead to several other important breakthroughs for me, including embracing my own repressed anger and reclaiming my power.

Similarly, the moment when my clients embrace the anger in their body is always a huge turning point. It’s a victory to finally allow their valid anger towards abusive family members or an unrelenting partner.

It’s the beginning of freedom.

So where do we begin?

The first thing is to regulate the nervous system and start to create a sense of safety within.

Try this guided EFT session to reconnect with yourself as you deal with your partner’s anger…

May you feel calm, grounded and nourished.

Dealing with your partner’s anger EFT Tapping script

Welcome and thanks for joining me in this EFT Tapping meditation to deal with your partner’s anger.

I’m Annie Moussu, a certified EFT Tapping Master Practitioner.

Being in a relationship with an angry partner can feel overwhelming, to say the least.

There may be a constant atmosphere of anger or negativity that damages the safety and trust in your relationship. Feeling sad, lonely, scared or frustrated is completely valid. 

When we feel triggered by our partner’s anger, we’re in fight-or-flight mode. We lose contact with our prefrontal cortex, the part of our brain that processes empathy and rational thinking.

Though it may be tempting to retaliate against your partner’s anger, it’s wiser to go within and find your inner calm before reacting.  

EFT Tapping sends calming signals to your brain and regulates the nervous system. There may be deeper layers to uncover, but you can use this EFT meditation to reduce anxiety in the moment and feel more grounded. 

So, let’s get started…  

Take a deep breath.

What physical tension arises as you think about dealing with your partner’s anger?

Where’s the tension in your body? How big is it? Perhaps it’s hot or cold? Take a moment to acknowledge this tension.

On a scale of 0 to 10, 10 being the highest, what’s the level of intensity of this tension? Keep that number in mind or write it down. It’ll be a way to measure your progress.

If you’re new to tapping, know that it’s normal to yawn, burp, laugh or cry during EFT. You might feel the tension moving from one place to another. Negative emotions and memories may surface. In general, you’ll feel relaxed. These are signs that stress is being released from your body and EFT is working!

If you’re heavily traumatized, please don’t do this meditation on your own. And if you’re experiencing physical violence, reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Okay, now let’s use 4 fingers of one hand and tap firmly on the side of the other hand. It’s the fleshy side of your hand, between your pinkie finger and your wrist.

As you tap continuously, repeat after me and personalize the words as you wish:

Even though 

I feel this tension in my body,

I feel anxious and frustrated

when my partner has angry outbursts, 

I deeply and completely accept myself.

Even though 

I feel this tension right now, 

I feel sad and lonely

when my partner explodes, 

I don’t know what to do, 

I deeply and completely accept myself.

Even though 

I feel this tension in my body right now, 

I hate it when my partner loses control

and I have to take the brunt of it, 

It’s so hard,

I feel powerless, 

I deeply and completely accept myself.

Then, tap on the top of your head, right in the center, and say, All this tension in my body.

Move to the beginning of your eyebrow, above your nose, using just 2 fingers for the smaller spaces. Tap while you say, I feel anxious and frustrated.

Tap on the side of your eye. It’s on the bone, bordering the outside of your eye: It’s scary when my partner has angry outbursts.

Tap under your eye, on the bone directly under your eye: Feeling sad and lonely…

Under your nose, between your nose and upper lip: When my partner explodes.

Under your mouth, right under your bottom lip: I have to take the brunt of it.

Collarbone point, right under your collarbone, about 3 inches from the center: I don’t know what to do.

Finally, tap under your arm, on the side of the body, about 4 inches below your armpit: I feel powerless.

Take a deep breath. 

Alright, check in with the tension. What level of intensity was it before and what number is it now? If your number has decreased even a little bit, you’re on the right track.

You may still be feeling some tension. So let’s tap again. Tap on the side of your hand and say:

Even though 

I still feel this tension right now, 

I still feel triggered, 

I wish I could tell my partner how I feel,

I deeply and completely accept myself.

Even though

I still feel this tension right now, 

I still feel anxious and frustrated,

why is it so difficult? 

I want to honor how I feel

and be there for my partner,

I deeply and completely accept myself.

Even though 

I still feel this tension right now, 

I feel responsible for fixing the situation, 

I’m tired of taking the brunt of their anger,

I deeply and completely accept myself.

Tap on the top of your head: A part of me wants to speak up.

Eyebrow: Another part of me doesn’t want to speak up.

Side of your eye:  What if I get minimized or criticized?

Under your eye: It’s so hard to stay calm.

Under your nose: Acknowledging all my emotions.

Under your mouth: I can’t change others. 

Collarbone: But I can manage my own reactions.

Under your arm: Releasing any remaining tension from my body.

Take a deep breath.

Let’s do an affirmative round to end on a high note.

Tap on the side of your hand and say:

Even though 

I may still be feeling some tension, 

I’m giving myself some space

before continuing the conversation.

Whenever I’m ready,

I choose to stay grounded and speak my truth.

Even though 

I tend to feel responsible for my partner’s anger, 

I choose to take care of myself first, 

I choose to protect my boundaries.

Even though 

I may feel like blaming my partner, 

there might be some remaining tension, 

I choose to focus on my wellbeing,

I choose to connect with my inner calm,

I love and accept myself.

Tap on the top of your head: All my feelings are valid.

Eyebrow: Releasing this remaining tension. 

Side of your eye: I choose to honor how I feel.

Under your eye: I release the need to fix things. 

Under your nose: Maybe I can share how I feel.

Under your mouth: Maybe I can ask my partner how they feel.

Collarbone: I’m willing to take care of myself first.

Under your arm: I love and respect myself. 

Take a deep breath.

What’s your level of intensity now? Compare this number with your first number. 

I hope you’re feeling lighter and more empowered now. Feel free to use this EFT Tapping meditation again whenever you’re feeling anxious about your partner’s anger.

If you enjoyed this meditation, visit my Insight Timer profile and follow me for updates on new content and free tapping sessions.

May you have the courage to love and accept yourself! Be well and take care.

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Want some free support?

I’m offering free EFT Tapping sessions in exchange for a short interview via Zoom.

I enjoy connecting with other women and learning about their challenges related to confidence, boundaries and relationships.

In the first 15 minutes, I’ll ask questions like “How did you discover me?” for new content ideas. In the last 15 minutes, you’ll get an EFT session to feel calm and clear. (Yes, things can shift that quickly.)

This offer isn’t a discovery call, where we discuss my paid services. It’s a fun opportunity to connect and support each other!

If you feel inspired to work with me, we can book a free call to make sure we’re a good fit.

I look forward to connecting with you!

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