When I was little, my bookcase was filled with Disney and Dr. Seuss classics.
But sometimes I’d find myself browsing for a certain book—an illustrated paperback about the Buddha’s life.
The last image especially struck me: a tranquil man, dressed in a gold robe, meditating at the foot of a giant fig tree. Siddhartha Gautama had found divine bliss and become a Buddha, an “awakened one”.
I couldn’t help wondering though, Is it really possible to attain nirvana?
This lofty idea settled in the back of my mind, until as a young adult, I discovered what suffering truly meant. I’d constantly get caught in one toxic relationship after another. Nothing seemed to help.
That’s when I began looking inward for answers.
It turns out, spiritual bliss isn’t what I had always imagined—supreme contentment 24/7. Many of us are more likely to experience moments of inner peace.
As we acknowledge our unconscious patterns, those serene moments multiply and become the majority of our day(s).
We free ourselves, so that we can create fulfilling lives and a better world.
An ironic path to divine bliss
New Age spirituality encourages us to choose positive thoughts.
The idea seems simple enough: If we want to be happy, think happy thoughts.
Unfortunately, this teaching doesn’t work for me. I have a healthy habit of finding the silver lining in everything. But that has its limits.
Perhaps it’s because I’m still healing from generational trauma. Or because I tend to have an overactive mind…
Sooner or later, my worries bubble up to the surface and seize my calm. I used to shoot at my nagging thoughts with positive affirmations.
But the thing that helps me the most?
Stop wanting to be happy, for at least a little bit. Pursuing bliss adds another layer of resistance.
Instead, I summon the courage to acknowledge my frustration, anger and helplessness. Which can sometimes be hard because I’ve learned as a child to mute my feelings.
I do my best to name the emotion. The thoughts that provoked the emotion. And the sensations that often swirl in my head, heart or stomach.
The search for bliss becomes irrelevant. I simply meet myself exactly where I am. Eventually, the contents of my mind settle down.
If I get a taste of divine bliss, I feel grateful. If not, I feel grateful too.
What can I say?
I like to “chop off” the Buddha’s head.
The cruel perfection of it all
One of the most difficult teachings is that, in the spiritual sense, there are no victims or villains in the world.
I can still remember the cold shock that sent tingles down my spine when I read this passage in Neale Donald Walsch’s Conversations with God.
A part of me knew it was true. But I had to test the idea for myself.
I began to examine my tragic life events with this new lens. Right away, I needed to gently brush aside my tendency to blame others.
I suffered so much from toxic relationships already. Why would my soul want to have these experiences?
Here’s a smattering of possible reasons:
- Learn how to trust my intuition
- Cultivate compassion for myself and others
- Forgive even when it feels impossible
- Build resiliency
- Learn how to love myself
Once I came to these realizations, I approached my relationships with an open heart and mind. My enthusiasm inspired my partner to do the same. It took many years to heal past wounds, but hope shined brightly.
The universe becomes kinder, as I apply the teaching “no victims, no villains” to all aspects of my life.
A mystic flow guides me to more ease, peace and opportunities. Which encourages me to keep surrendering and deepening my faith.
A necessary disclaimer: I wouldn’t rush into this perspective if I were grieving from a loss or heavily struggling with trauma.
At times, it’s impossible to see the good of an event. We may need to process the shock, anger and confusion first.
And other times, we can’t comprehend the greater meaning. Or its meaning reveals itself much later on.
In that case, it’d be wise to surrender, grow and move on as best we can.
Embracing uncertain times
“So long as you entertain the notion that there is something or someone else out there “doing it” to you, you disempower yourself to do anything about it. Only when you say “I did this” can you find the power to change it.” —Neale Donald Walsch
I should point out that we don’t purposely create our suffering.
No one wants to suffer—it’s unconscious.
All repressed, denied and disowned feelings hide in our unconscious. We find unhealed emotional wounds, “negative” traits and bothersome memories there as well.
What’s more, trauma gets passed down the generations—whether we know it or not. The collective shadow (manifested as poverty, racism and sexism, for example) also affects us deeply.
On a human level, this sounds and feels awful. We may spend years doing inner work and still remain stuck. The pain may feel insurmountable.
But on a soul level, we agreed to experience these hardships to evolve towards more love, peace and compassion.
The faster we let this spiritual truth sink in, the more effective we’ll be at creating a better world.
As soon as we make the unconscious conscious, we can stop destructive patterns and move beyond it to create something new. Divine bliss, perhaps.
This transformation happens within each of us and the collective. We’re all interconnected, so healing from our own hardships also heals the collective.
If we don’t heal, our shadow molds our fate and dictates our decisions. We become like a puppet, at the mercy of our marionettist. And society will undoubtedly reflect our fears.
So, let’s courageously examine our understandings. Explore our deepest fears and shame. Allow things to unfold, according to divine timing.
Let’s anchor ourselves through grounding exercises. Nourish our relationships.
And grieve past hurts.
Eventually, our inner work boosts our trust in the universe, so that we feel supported, no matter what.
Let’s awaken all of ourselves
“If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate [or integrate] all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.” —Lao Tzu
Our transformation empowers others’ transformation.
Every single one of us progresses on this inward journey at different rhythms.
We’re not responsible for the painful experiences in our lives—collective influences play a role too.
But since we’re part of the whole, we have the responsibility to acknowledge our unconscious contribution to the collective.
By doing so, we can usher in a life-affirming world together.
May we all have the courage to find divine bliss amidst uncertainty.
