With all the pressure to make the holidays special, it can be easy to put others’ needs first, at the expense of our own well-being.
But when we don’t care for ourselves first, we can end up feeling frazzled, anxious and resentful.
Even if it’s not the holidays, you can use this guided EFT Tapping session and script to ground yourself and feel more confident about setting boundaries anytime.
This guided EFT session is also available on the meditation app, Insight Timer.
If you’re new to EFT Tapping, check out this blog article/podcast episode to learn more.
Before we start tapping, I’d like to quickly touch on 3 tips to navigate the holiday season:
1) Prioritize nourishing activities
Ask yourself, Which holiday traditions light me up? Who am I excited to see? You get to choose which activities replenish you.
2) Sit with the discomfort
When someone gets upset, breathe deeply and avoid rushing to fix it. It’s not your responsibility to manage others’ feelings. Tend to your needs first before helping others.
You can use EFT Tapping to ease any holiday anxiety. Just tap on the side of your hand (under the dinner table if need be) and allow the anxiety to come and go.
3) Ask for support
Work with a loved one to set boundaries together.
My husband Loïc and I team up and remind each other to refuse excessive gifts or more activities. You get that added motivation, strength and accountability as a team.
Have a few stock phrases to deflect intrusive questions. Asking for help with tasks frees up your time.
The holiday season is an excellent opportunity to learn how to balance taking care of ourselves and others.
Which tip will you try?
And now, without further ado, here’s the EFT guided session to release any guilt you have after setting boundaries…
Enjoy!
Release guilt after setting boundaries EFT Tapping script
Welcome and thanks for joining me in this EFT Tapping meditation to release guilt after setting a boundary.
I’m Annie Moussu, a certified EFT Tapping Master Practitioner.
It’s normal to feel guilty after we set a boundary.
We might beat ourselves up, believe it’s our fault (when it’s not), or wonder if we could’ve somehow fixed the problem.
We may also feel anxious, afraid, regretful and ashamed, especially if our caretakers disapproved us for standing up for ourselves in childhood. People-pleasing became a coping mechanism to offset the lack of support and validation.
Above all, boundaries indicate how we take care of ourselves. Boundaries are about us. The most important relationship in our life is the one we have with ourselves.
So, congrats to you for mustering up the courage to not only set a boundary, but also to stand your ground and stick to your truth.
Let’s do some EFT Tapping to release the guilt and honor your needs right now…
Take a deep breath.
Okay, so you recently set a boundary with someone. You know you did the right thing. But you just can’t shake off the guilt.
Where do you feel the guilt in your body? For example, it may show up as physical tension in your neck. Take a moment to acknowledge the tension.
On a scale of 0 to 10, 10 being the highest, what’s the level of intensity of this tension? Keep that number in mind or write it down. It’ll be a way to measure your progress.
If you’re new to tapping, know that it’s perfectly normal to yawn, burp, laugh or cry during EFT.
You might feel the tension moving from one place to another. Negative emotions and memories might surface. In general, you’ll most likely feel relaxed.
These are signs that stress is being released from your body and EFT is working!
Okay, now let’s use 4 fingers of one hand and tap firmly on the side of the other hand. It’s the fleshy side of your hand, between your pinkie finger and your wrist.
As you tap, repeat after me in your mind or out loud:
Even though
I feel this guilt in my body,
I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though
I feel this guilt right now,
I know I did what’s right for me,
but I still feel like it’s all my fault,
I respect and honor my feelings.
Even though
I feel this guilt in my body right now,
I feel bad that I stood up for myself,
Why is it so hard to stand my ground?
I deeply and completely accept myself.
Then, tap on the top of your head, right in the center, and say, This guilt in my body.
Move to the beginning of your eyebrow, above your nose, using just 2 fingers for the smaller spaces. Tap while you say, Did I say the right thing?
Tap on the side of your eye. It’s on the bone, bordering the outside of your eye: Maybe I could’ve been nicer…
Tap under your eye, on the bone directly under your eye: If only I could fix the problem…
Under your nose, between your nose and upper lip: Then, the person wouldn’t be mad at me anymore.
Chin point, which is under your bottom lip: Acknowledging this guilt.
Collarbone point, right under your collarbone, about 3 inches from the center: Blaming myself for making them unhappy.
Finally, tap under your arm, on the side of the body, about 4 inches below your armpit: It’s all my fault.
Take a deep breath.
Alright, how’s the tension in your body feeling? What level of intensity was it before and what number is it now? If your number has decreased even a little bit, that’s wonderful!
You may still be feeling some tension. So let’s tap again. Tap on the side of your hand and say:
Even though
I still feel this guilt right now,
I did what was right for me,
but it makes others unhappy,
I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I still feel guilty right now,
I’m tired of letting others down,
and at the same time,
I need to take care of myself,
I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though
I still feel this guilt in my body right now,
a part of me feels like it’s all my fault,
and another part of me knows I did the right thing,
I deeply and completely accept myself.
Tap on the top of your head: I’m tired of blaming myself.
Eyebrow: It’s not even my fault.
Side of your eye: I’m allowed to have needs and preferences.
Under your eye: It’s hard to speak my truth.
Under your nose: I want to be strong and stand my ground.
Under your mouth: This remaining guilt in my body.
Collarbone: I don’t want to rock the boat.
Under your arm: Releasing this remaining guilt.
Take a deep breath.
Let’s do an affirmative round to end on a high note.
Tap on the side of your hand and say:
Even though
it’s not always easy to speak my truth,
I’m proud of myself for setting this boundary,
I stood up for myself!
I deserve to set and maintain boundaries that support me.
Even though
there might be a little bit of guilt left,
I’m learning everyday about the boundaries that serve me best.
I’m worthy of healthy relationships.
I’m staying open to prioritizing myself,
I deeply love and respect myself.
Even though
I still might be blaming myself,
I choose to let it go.
Everytime I honor my boundaries,
I feel more and more confident to express my needs.
I love and forgive myself.
Tap on the top of your head: I’m listening to my needs.
Eyebrow: Perhaps for the first time in a while.
Side of your eye: It’s safe for me to say no.
Under your eye: It feels good to honor who I am.
Under your nose: My needs matter. I matter.
Under your mouth: It’s their stuff, not mine.
Collarbone: I’m responsible for my own happiness.
Under your arm: I’m reclaiming my power now.
Take a deep breath.
What’s your level of intensity for the guilt now? Compare this number with your first number.
I hope you’re feeling calmer, grounded and more empowered now. Feel free to use this tapping meditation again whenever you need some support after setting a boundary.
Want some free support?
I’m offering free EFT Tapping sessions in exchange for a short interview via Zoom.
I enjoy connecting with other women and learning about their challenges related to confidence, boundaries and relationships.
In the first 15 minutes, I’ll ask questions like “How did you discover me?” for new content ideas. In the last 15 minutes, you’ll get an EFT session to feel calm and clear. (Yes, things can shift that quickly.)
This offer isn’t a discovery call, where we discuss my paid services. It’s a fun opportunity to connect and support each other!
If you feel inspired to work with me, we can book a free call to make sure we’re a good fit.
I look forward to connecting with you!
Further reading to release guilt after setting boundaries: