3 Tips to Surrender to the Flow of Life

At a certain point on the journey, you realize that fighting against reality gets tiring.

That’s when surrendering to the flow of life sounds like a great idea.

You just want your life to glide smoothly. To attract the right relationships and opportunities. More ease and grace, even when things go awry.

I’ve learned that manifesting stuff from my ego has its limits. The afterglow quickly disappeared. I found myself chasing my next desire and forcing things to make it happen.

Tying my happiness to fleeting external things kept me imprisoned.

What I yearned for was that feeling of complete alignment with myself and the universe. But I couldn’t help trying to control the outcome.

How do we actually relax into life’s arms, trusting that all our needs will be met?

Read on for 3 practical tips to stop outsourcing your power and go with the flow more easily.

1) Release the struggle

My days used to end with me feeling frazzled…

How did 5 tasks become 50 tasks, again?

Whenever I turned on my laptop to start working, it’s like I entered a twilight zone. My head seemed to disconnect from my body and the bright screen hypnotized me with 23 tabs in a row.

Hours flashed by without a break. A couple tasks got checked off, but I somehow always made things harder than necessary.

If I could visit my old self and tell her what I know now, I’d say:

“Your nervous system has gotten used to working hard.

You live in a society that feeds on the lack mentality. The idea of ‘no pain, no gain’ is reinforced in homes, schools and institutions. Few people feel like they’re good enough, no matter how much they have or do.

Working hard is an old story that comes from before you were born.

When your parents immigrated to the US from Vietnam, they left everything behind to start at the bottom of the ladder. They didn’t see their challenges as sacrifices—it’s just what you did for your family.

You can release this guilt from your body. You don’t have to work hard to honor your ancestors or prove you’re worthy.

Receive their gift and go ahead—live in ease and joy. This is what they wanted for you.”

Of course, no one wants to struggle.

The expectation that life is hard often stems from past experiences. As a former perfectionist, I craved the validation I got from my achievements. And my immigrant parents raised me with a lack mentality.

This stuff stays in our nervous system long after it’s necessary. Our brain has been trained to expect adversity to help us stay resilient.

To surrender to the flow of life, we need to regulate our nervous system to create a sense of safety and support within.

This calms our survival mode when it’s unhelpful. Even amidst chaos, we can approach it with greater peace of mind.

We can unclench our hands and receive life’s gifts more easily.

2) Feel worthy of support

Recovering people-pleasers often feel unworthy of support.

It’s so much easier to support other people. We have reservoirs of love and compassion for others, but it’s a different story when it comes to ourselves.

I hear these things from my clients:

I’m so understanding with others. Why can’t I be like that with myself?
I’m terrible at taking care of myself.
I criticize myself all the time. I’d never say such mean things to a friend.

Prioritizing others’ well-being often became a way for us to get love and attention in childhood.

Trauma and chronic neglect (including emotional neglect) take a toll on us. We learn by default to abandon ourselves and work hard to appease others.

When I declared to myself years ago that I’d now trust the universe, I didn’t realize it’d conflict with my inner people pleaser.

One part of me said, “I’m ready for more ease and flow” and another part retorted, “I can do everything by myself!” Receiving support felt vulnerable because in the past, it came with strings attached—it gave others a reason to guilt-trip me and demand more from me.

As women, we learn to overgive and overextend ourselves and it’s seen as the noble, responsible thing to do. Others expect us to be, do and have it all.

Ultimately, if we want to surrender to the flow of life, we need to heal from the wounds tied to receiving support. Any negative meanings about someone who receives support must also be transmuted (e.g. “You’re weak if you ask for help”).

Feeling worthy of support is about saying yes to pleasure, abundance and joy with your entire being.

When you’re ready, ask the universe for guidance. Offer your desires to the divine and request the highest good for all.

Your guides are waiting for you to invite them.

3) Let the divine lead

Manifesting our desires tends to be about me, me, me—what can I get from the universe?

I’ve learned from experience that that can never fulfill me. So I wondered, “What if I only made decisions with my intuition? What if my higher self knew what was best for me?”

Perhaps I didn’t have to solve everything alone. Life often worked out when I loosened my grip and embraced my soul’s evolution instead of my own agenda.

With a more regulated nervous system, I felt lighter and safer within, which helped me embody my trust in the unknown.

Though many people abandoned me in the past, I healed my heart (and continue to do so) and deepened my love affair with life. I know that the divine is supporting me for my highest good.

“We restlessly scan the world saying, ‘Is this my destination? Can I lay my burden down now? Am I safe? Can I finally let go?’

Yet some part of us knows that no person or place in this galaxy of impermanence can ever fully give that refuge….

Amidst this endless phantasmagoria of change, it’s possible to learn to rest upon the Divine like a life raft in deep water. From the One all things emanate; to the One all things return. Rather than cling to each individual illusion of safety, the mind can learn to find the Divine and Her protection in every situation.

It’s tempting to try to make a particular job, livelihood, or relationship our salvation. Then we quickly become the slave of whatever we grip the most.

But when you make the Divine your Source, you move through life with an ease and lightness, with an open hand. You allow whatever wishes to come, come. And whatever wishes to go, go.” —Tosha Silver

How to surrender and go with the flow

Surrendering to the flow of life isn’t just an intellectual concept.

And it’s not about living blissfully without problems. We’ll definitely face challenges to learn how to embody our true nature and actually live from that invaluable wisdom.

But when we release the struggle, feel worthy of support and let the divine lead, we’re able to more easily embrace uncertainty and setbacks. Eventually, our trust in the universe strengthens the more we realize that life indeed has our back.

We can rest easy and breathe, knowing that even in the worst scenario, there’s an immense force within and outside ourselves, guiding us at every step.

So, be open and play with the idea of surrendering.

Tune into that small voice within.

It’s all of life speaking through you.

Want some free support?

I’m offering free EFT Tapping sessions in exchange for a short interview via Zoom.

I enjoy connecting with other women and learning about their challenges related to confidence, boundaries and relationships.

In the first 15 minutes, I’ll ask questions like “How did you discover me?” for new content ideas. In the last 15 minutes, you’ll get an EFT session to feel calm and clear. (Yes, things can shift that quickly.)

This offer isn’t a discovery call, where we discuss my paid services. It’s a fun opportunity to connect and support each other!

If you feel inspired to work with me, we can book a free call to make sure we’re a good fit.

I look forward to connecting with you!