How to Protect Your Energy While Socializing

Have you tried surrounding yourself with a bubble of white light?

People recommend it to protect your energy from others. But it doesn’t work for me.

In the past, I’d still get pulled into the drama at social gatherings. Others’ negativity weighed heavily in the air and was sometimes projected on me.

My friends and family generally mean well. But for some reason, I’d always go home feeling muddled and sluggish. It’d take days to recuperate.

Does this happen to you too?

As an introverted empath, I had to find a way to protect my energy while socializing… Otherwise, I’d spend the rest of my life hiding out!

Keep reading to learn how to stay grounded at social gatherings and actually have a good time.

Plan ahead

Dinner at my in-laws’ looks like this:

Our excited hosts jump from topic to topic at lightning speed. My energy slowly drains from the small talk.

The strong synthetic lavender perfume in the air triggers a slight headache. And the TV is humming behind us the entire time.

Setting an intention for how long we’ll stay does wonders though.

My partner Loïc and I feel reassured that the evening won’t extend endlessly into the night. Over the years, we’ve built up our resilience to be able to hang out with family for about 5 hours at a time. This boundary helps us feel more in control and grounded.

It’s helpful to buddy up with one safe person at a social gathering. This ally makes you feel seen and heard and can support you if things get overwhelming.

You can choose a safe word or phrase that will signal your need to leave. (For us, we know it’s time to go if one of us looks tired.)

Prepare your go-to responses for common intrusive questions. This might seem ridiculous until you try it. But figuring out what we’re willing to share and how to handle rude questions gives us back a sense of agency.

Here are a few examples:

I’d rather talk about something else
Thanks for your opinion, but this works for me
I appreciate you worrying about me, but I’ve got it
I want to keep that private
I’ll let you know when I’m ready to discuss this

You don’t have to always accept an invitation to the family gathering. Give yourself permission to speak your truth.

Ask yourself, “Which gatherings bring me joy?”

Protect your energy while socializing

As an introvert, one-to-one conversations energize me.

So during a social gathering, I tend to drift towards one or two people who also enjoy deep discussions. This never fails to invigorate me and I end up having a great time.

Author Jenn Granneman encourages us to ask open-ended questions to connect more deeply with others. For example, instead of “How was your weekend?”, try “What was your favorite part of your weekend?”

Or ask, “How long have you been living here?” and follow up with “What do you like about the area?”

Even if I do get caught up in a fascinating chat, I try to take breaks from all the noise to reconnect with my body.

Loïc and I often hang out with a couple we’re friends with in their backyard arboretum, so it’s easy to stroll whenever we feel like it. Standing up, breathing fresh air and admiring the roses always help.

At my in-laws’, I take advantage of bathroom breaks to do a few stretches! You could also help make the table or wash dishes to get your body moving and practice presence.

The French love to mingle for 1 to 2 hours during the apéritif, or pre-dinner drinks. So I make sure to have a nutritious snack like a handful of unsalted cashews before arriving. Or I only eat the healthiest hors-d’œuvres. That way, I’m not starving and my energy stays strong. Lesson learned!

If you’re stuck at a dinner table, you can use simple grounding techniques like “grabbing” the floor with your toes or noticing how the chair feels against your back to engage your senses and focus on the present.

Whew, I’ve already shared so many tips! But the most impactful tip to protect my energy at social gatherings is the next one below…

Notice what you’re tuning into

Imagine that each person is like a radio tower.

Radio towers with similar frequencies naturally pick up each other’s signal. “Like attracts like,” as they say.

So if you’re tuned into the frequency of fear, you’ll pick up other frequencies of fear around you. These similar frequencies can amplify each other.

If you’re unaware of what you’re tuning into, you might absorb others’ energy without realizing it.

Perhaps you’re talking with a friend and suddenly you start worrying about your finances. When you step back, you realize that you weren’t worried initially. Your friend’s worries seemed to transfer to you.

Have you ever noticed this?

Those of us who tend to people-please may experience this all the time. We learned to feel responsible for others’ happiness and take on their tough emotions. This may have served us as kids with few resources.

So, how do you know when you’re absorbing others’ energy?

Start by observing your inner world as you interact with people. Notice if you repeatedly feel anxious, confused or angry in a certain situation.

How did you feel before talking with this person? How do you feel afterwards?

This might be challenging if we’re used to focusing our attention on others instead of ourselves. Breathe deeply and note any bodily tension. Silently send their energy back.

You could go further and see if any part of you is asking for your attention.

If your friends and family are mirrors, what can you learn about yourself? What needs are unmet? Do you need to set a boundary?

Is it possible that this pain someone created in you is guiding you back home to yourself? If you don’t feel appreciated, is it possible that you don’t value a part of yourself?

In the long-term, cultivating self-awareness and healing my emotional baggage make the biggest difference at any social gathering. Once you create a sense of peace within, you won’t be at the whim of others as often.

You’ll know what’s yours and leave the rest. You’ll feel empowered to voice your truth and show up as yourself.

If you’d like personalized guidance to create healthy relationships, I’m trading free EFT sessions in exchange for a short interview. Learn more here.

Take your power back

I’m grateful to be able to spend time with friends and family without absorbing all their energy.

I can chat with them at the dinner table and sense when I’m being pulled into fear or negativity. It’s much easier to set boundaries without feeling responsible for making others happy.

I get to enjoy one of the greatest pleasures in life—connection with loved ones—thanks to the stable foundation I’ve built within myself.

There are many ways to protect our energy while socializing. We can plan ahead of time by setting an intention, buddying up with a safe person and preparing answers to rude questions.

During social events, you can seek one-to-one conversations, take breaks and connect with your body.

Ultimately, the more we become aware of our inner world, the less the outer world can influence us. You can learn to sense other people’s energy and choose to give love only to those who truly matter.

So, how will you protect your energy at the next social gathering? Let me know in the comments below! I’d love to hear from you.

Want some free support?

I’m offering free EFT Tapping sessions in exchange for a short interview via Zoom.

I enjoy connecting with other women and learning about their challenges related to confidence, boundaries and relationships.

In the first 15 minutes, I’ll ask questions like “How did you discover me?” for new content ideas. In the last 15 minutes, you’ll get an EFT session to feel calm and clear. (Yes, things can shift that quickly.)

This offer isn’t a discovery call, where we discuss my paid services. It’s a fun opportunity to connect and support each other!

If you feel inspired to work with me, we can book a free call to make sure we’re a good fit.

I look forward to connecting with you!