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Mindfulness meditation has been vital to my well-being.
This practice has helped me become acutely aware of my thoughts and emotions, so that I can choose how to show up in my relationships and all aspects of life.
Sometimes, it’s painful to acknowledge our truth—anything lingering under the surface eventually must be embraced if we want to make peace with ourselves.
The results are priceless though…
There’s now a healthy space between my thoughts and myself. Old stories of abandonment and feeling inadequate get stopped in their tracks and fall away more easily. And what happens on the outside has much less power over me than in the past.
I’m grateful to experience this inner freedom and joy. It certainly hasn’t been easy to achieve.
Mindfulness meditation began as a formal practice and then became my way of life. It was the first essential step on my journey that helped me heal from the ruthless grip of codependency.
In this blog article, I’ll share about my personal experience, the benefits of mindfulness meditation and tips on how to start cultivating daily peace and presence.
Mom made me meditate
I learned how to meditate when I was 5 years old.
My family and I had just finished a delicious curry dinner. I was quietly looking at my Cinderella picture book when my mom asked me to come downstairs to the living room:
I’m going to teach you how to thiền, my girl. Thiền means meditate in Vietnamese.
With the crack of a match, she lit a stick of sandalwood incense. I inhaled the earthy aroma and gazed at my mom who sat cross-legged.
Then, I joined her in front of a vintage wooden desk clock. I shut my eyes and breathed deeply.
My mom gently guided me, It’s like sleeping, but you’re awake. Just stay like this for one minute.
The hands of the clock ticked ever so slowly.
As soon as the minute ended, my mom said, That’s good enough for today. We’ll start again tomorrow.
And off I skipped to my room.
Why you should do mindfulness meditation
As a small child, I couldn’t care less about mindfulness meditation.
But I liked pleasing my parents, so I did what I was told. Day after day, I practiced meditating with my mom in front of that wooden clock.
Once I felt comfortable with one minute of meditation, we added a minute, then another… Later on, my studies would completely occupy me during the evenings and I stopped meditating.
It wasn’t until my early 20s, when I struggled with depression, did I finally see the benefits.
At the time, I had sailed straight into a codependent marriage after college. I could barely navigate life abroad and my job was unfulfilling. A dark cloud followed me everywhere.
That’s when I reverted to mindfulness meditation.
In Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn writes:
“We all accept that no one controls the weather. Good sailors learn to read it carefully and respect its power. They will avoid storms if possible, but when caught in one, they know when to take down the sails, batten down the hatches, drop anchor, and ride things out, controlling what is controllable and letting go of the rest.” —Jon Kabat-Zinn
Mindfulness meditation trains us to gracefully handle life’s inevitable ups and downs. Instead of stressing out or repressing our problems, we can learn how to live consciously.
And as we learn how to embrace painful emotions, we let in more love, peace and joy.
Here are 10 other benefits of mindfulness meditation:
- reduces stress and anxiety
- improves sleep
- aids weight loss
- relieves negative thinking
- helps prevent depression relapse
- sharpens focus
- helps manage chronic pain
- improves memory
- strengthens immune system
- reduces heart disease
Be like a tree
You don’t have to be Buddhist to appreciate mindfulness meditation.
It’s accessible to everyone, anywhere, anytime.
When I first began meditating again, I practiced for 20 minutes in the morning and evening. I loved this peaceful feeling so much that I’d meditate for an hour or more daily.
But I still lost my temper easily or felt hurt by criticism. I’d beat myself up and spin out in feelings of worthlessness.
Then, I realized the limits of formal meditation and removed the crutches: What if my life became a meditation?
“The real meditation practice is how we live our lives from moment to moment to moment.” —Jon Kabat-Zinn
Many people live in the past or future. As a result, they may miss out on connecting with loved ones or enjoying nature’s beauty—things that give meaning to our lives.
What’s more, our body sends us important signals about our well-being.
If we’re lost in our mind, we could dismiss feelings of resentment towards a friend. We might say yes when we mean no. Our emotions could easily control us, provoking much anxiety and leading us to rash decisions.
Instead, imagine you’re a tree. A giant sequoia, if you’d like.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re sitting, lying down or doing tasks. Throughout the day, pay close attention to your thoughts and feelings, without judgment.
If your mind wanders, don’t fret. It’s like the treetop—thousands of leaves rattling with the wind.
Acknowledge the fact. Then, ground yourself by focusing on feeling your belly—the tree trunk—rise and fall with your breath.
Gently bring your attention back to your belly as often as necessary.
That’s it.
Contrary to popular belief, there’s nothing mystical or complex about mindfulness meditation. You don’t need to sit in the lotus position or burn incense.
You’re just being more present.
#1 Mistake about mindfulness meditation
“Praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow come and go like the wind. To be happy, rest like a giant tree in the midst of them all.” ―Buddha
Change is inevitable.
Yet our ego loves to cling to past hurts, even if it keeps us from healing. We might feel happy, and at the same time, worry about impending doom.
The richness of the present moment escapes us unless we adopt the “beginner’s mind” and see through the veil of our thoughts and beliefs.
That’s not to say we should repress our mental chaos. Doing so would amplify it. It’s an easy mistake to make.
The ultimate goal of mindfulness meditation is to allow our thoughts to flow.
With time and practice, we naturally disidentify from the mind and free ourselves from its endless chatter, fears and limits.
If it’s especially hard to let go despite your best efforts, there are most likely old wounds to heal. Our body might be set to feel unsafe due to past trauma, which can keep us from relaxing into the present.
Unresolved emotional wounds can act as a filter of our present. We may unconsciously create drama in relationships, for example. Or we might beat ourselves up, sabotaging our potential.
We have to first meet ourselves exactly where we are.
And then, we can change for the better.
Embrace each moment
Our mind is a magnificent tool that helps us avoid danger, solve problems and get things done.
But we are not our mind.
We are the consciousness that animates us.
Mindfulness meditation points us to the love, peace and joy that already reside within.
We must simply be aware of it…
Moment by moment.
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I enjoy connecting with other women and learning about their challenges related to confidence, boundaries and relationships.
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Further reading related to mindfulness meditation: